Love Unconquerable, Unlimited, Unconditional

This Christmas season, I have decided to start a new tradition for myself: I've been getting reacquainted with Christ by studying the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. My dear friends, Jesus Christ lives! He is our Savior, our older brother, and our perfect exemplar. I can't tell you what an amazing experience I have had spending time with Him in my study--hearing His words, and seeing His example, and feeling His love.

I always liked to compare Christ's role in our lives to my brother's playing basketball in the driveway with his friends. I would sit on the step and watch them, wanting to be able to play and knowing that I was just too little to do it on my own. But eventually, Mark would come over and lift me up on his shoulders and walk over to the hoop, and one of his friends would hand me the ball, and they would all cheer when I tossed the ball into the hoop. That image has become so much more real since I lost Mark, and even though this isn't exactly what the Atonement of Christ does (it's only a small part), I know that Christ is my older brother--that I can be as close to Him as I am to Mark. I can grieve for Him, and miss Him, and want to be with Him, just like I do Mark.

And I do. The other night, I was reading in Mark 14, when Christ takes Peter, James, and John to Gethsemane. Most often, I skim over this part in these first gospels, until I get to Luke, because Luke uses such beautiful and powerful language. But as I studied these verses, my heart broke for my Savior:

"And he taketh with him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy;

And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.

And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? couldest not thou watch one hour?" (Mark 14:33-37).

Three times, The Savior of the world knelt in agony, alone, and each time He came to His friends, whom He had brought with Him for support, He found them sleeping. Even after all they had experience with Him, they did not understand; they couldn't even stay awake as He suffered for the sins of the world. And at last, when the time came to fulfill the rest of the Atonement, He said, "Sleep on now, and take your rest" (Mark 14:41).

What great love! To suffer so much, alone, knowing that so many would not understand, that so many would reject and dismiss the priceless gift that He gave.

And so, this Christmas, I make a commitment to you and to my Savior, Jesus Christ:

I will strive to love as He did--withholding nothing, and asking for nothing in return.

I will strive to live my life as He did--in the service of my fellow man.

I will strive to forgive as He did--frankly and without condition.

But most of all, I will remember always what He gave for me, and stand as His witness in all things, in all times, and in all places.