Dancing Queen, Young and Sweet, Just Turned Seventeen!

In a not-so-different time, in a not-so-distant land, there lives a beautiful young girl named Malia. Malia is the sweetest, brightest, and most precious Daughter of God I know -- and believe me, I do know. She's my sister's oldest, and she just celebrated her seventeenth birthday (... Seventeen! I feel absolutely decrepit!) here in Utah on Sunday. When she first arrived on Friday, I met her and Nicola (my sister) in the Bookstore on campus and introduced them to the cuisine of Provo: a little whole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant that will forever be known to me as "The Carrot Place." (Another story, another time).

Afterward, we snuck into a physical science class full of Freshman (not too much older than Malia) and witnessed a humorous lecture on the different states of matter (most of which Malia was already familiar with - she's a science whiz) before going to my Literary Theory and Criticism class (not quite as much fun for Malia, but she survived it without the tiniest scratch. She didn't even doze off at all!).

Sadly, I wasn't able to spend much more time with her or Nicola. I didn't even get to introduce them to my roommates, who were very excited to meet Malia (and who wouldn't be?). But! I did get to meet them in Salt Lake on Malia's birthday to watch the Sunday afternoon session of General Conference with them and my brother-in-law (Erick) and nephew (Bryce), which was AMAZING! It was so hard to say goodbye that afternoon! I grew up with Malia and Bryce, babysitting them, teasing them, playing with them, loving them. They are both so smart and talented, and they both have amazing personalities and strengths. Malia is truly the sweetest and best seventeen-year-old I know! I love her so much! It's so hard and yet so amazing to watch her grow up and become the young woman that she is. I hope she knows how truly wonderful she is and how much she can do. She is a force for good, a quiet and beautiful strength to everyone she meets. I hope she knows how much she is loved and admired by her family and friends.

Happy Birthday, Malia!

Introducing ... My brother's kids

Kaleb McKay

He's the oldest - 10 years old already, and still growing. He reminds me a lot of myself growing up: quiet and sensitive with a wild imagination that takes him anywhere and everywhere. He's a big fan of Percy Jackson and loves to learn about Greek mythology. He already knows a whole lot more than I do about it - it's all Greek to me! (I do apologize, but I simply couldn't resist - it's just so punny!). Kaleb also loves computer games, comics, legos, bologna, and, of course, his Auntie Debra, among other things. Recently, he's taken up karate, drawing, writing, photography, and directing, and aspires to be a stand-up comedian. When he's not distracted by his many ambitions, hobbies, and creations, he's also extremely helpful - the perfect little gentleman. I had a friend come in to introduce himself to the family before taking me to dinner a few weeks ago (No, I will not be blogging about it, and yes, you can safely assume that it was an awkward experience.). My brother, of course, stood up to shake my friend's hand. Kaleb was only two seconds behind him, holding his own hand and introducing himself. I wanted to scream with laughter and give him a big hug, but I figured it would probably be inappropriate, so I restrained myself. Bless his little heart, I love him!

Colin Joshua

The second in line. 8 years old. Colin is just about the opposite of Kaleb in so many ways. Fearless and extremely outgoing, Colin has friends wherever he goes. He loves all animals, but especially horses, and is determined to be a veterinarian when he grows up. Of course, it almost goes without saying that he loves to be outside. He's quite the dare-devil with a bicycle, and a gymnast to boot. It's incredible to watch him. But Colin has a softer side, as well. I remember a few years back, going through K-mart with Colin when he was just three or four; he found a pink stroller with hearts printed all over it and liked it so well, he held on to it, strolling around the store until my sister decided to buy it for him ... that didn't go over so well with my brother. Of course, he probably wouldn't make the same selection now. But he does do a wonderful job playing with his little sister, Abbey.

Chase Albert

Triple threat. 6 years old. Another boy, another completely unique personality. Chase is the athlete of the family. That's not to say the others aren't athletic; they're all smart, talented, and active kids. But Chase is the competitor. He does not like to lose, at all. He likes to be in control, and have everything in order, his way. True to form, he also loves cars, action heroes, spies, and anything "cool". I don't actually know what he wants to be when he grows up. That's something I'll have to ask him. Perhaps a fireman, or a superhero. It's so fun to watch his reactions to everything - he's just so animated. His little eyes light up and his eyebrows climb up - it's just adorable! Tonight, we watched The Spy Next Door, and throughout the entire movie, there was Chase sitting on his basketball bean-bag and just laughing away. I loved it! Definitely better than the movie!

Abigail Katherine

Affectionately called, Abbey Kate. Also known as Abbey, Abba-Dab, Sister, and of course, Princess. 4 years old, and going on 30. Someone asked me the other day whether I thought Abbey would turn out to be more of a princess or a tom-boy, being the only girl in a house full of boys. The truth is, she's already a little of both. To paraphrase my friend, she's the princess who can and will beat you up if you step out of line. She is definitely the boss, no question about it. Abbey loves dolls, dress-up, polly-pockets, tickle-tag, painted nails, pickles, and anything purple, pink, or shiny. Her collection of household toys includes a kitchen, complete with plastic food items, silverware, and dishes; a shopping cart; a high-chair; a vacuum; and of course, an ironing board (donated by her aunt for her 4th birthday). I nearly died of pure joy when she set her ironing board up next to mine the other week to iron with me. While she can be quite the little Madame at times (She could give a thirteen-year-old on her period a run for her money!), she's also incredibly sweet. Tonight, as we were watching the movie, she quietly went up to her mother and asked if it was time to turn the movie off and read scriptures. And when the movie was over she announced that she was ready for bed and reminded the boys that they needed to brush their teeth. What can I say? I love being an aunt!

To Be Announced

Yes. There is a fifth little Cox soon to be running around, but unfortunately we don't have a name for him yet. Yup. Another boy. Abbey was a little disappointed at first, but she's very excited for her baby to come. The official due date is the 21st of this month, the inducement is scheduled for the 19th, and we're all expecting a trip to the hospital any day now. It's very exciting. I can't wait to see what his personality will be like. It's just fascinating to watch them grow into themselves.

Adventure in the Great Wide Somewhere ... A Summer in Yakima

I write to you, dear reader, from my own little corner of the world - at least for the summer - in Yakima, Washington. I'm sure you're wondering how I find the time to blog amid such grand adventure. I would say it took great diligence. But I would be lying through my teeth (a curious expression, don't you think? How do you lie, or even tell the truth, for that matter, without it going through your teeth? But I digress.). As you're obviously eager to know what it is that I'm doing here in Yakima, I will tell you.

I spend about five to seven hours of each day checking math and entering data for a fruit company, and another hour or so waiting for the numbers to find their way to my desk so that I can continue checking math and entering data. Sounds fascinating, doesn't it? That's what I thought. But it pays well, and it's a job, which is better than nothing.

You'll be relieved to know that the rest of my time is put to much better use. I'm staying with my big brother and his family. I've even started excercising each morning - if necessary, you have my permission to seek medical assistance for the shock. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm actually starting to enjoy it. It isn't exactly fun, but I just feel good after I've gone for a run ("run" being a very loose term).

Today, I went with my sister-in-law to watch my nephews play tennis. They're taking lessons at a friend's home, which friend also has a pool and allows them to swim in between classes. I watched the younger two at tennis for a few minutes, then had a nice relaxing time at the pool with little Abigail, my niece. After drying off to watch Kaleb, the oldest, I returned to a not-so-relaxing game of "get-Debra-with-whatever-water-toy-is-closest-to-you," headed by Colin, the second oldest. I had a blast! It was the first time I felt like I had really been able to have fun with the kids since I got here.

I think I've done a fair job of rambling on, so once again, my friend, I bid you adieu until another blogging day.

Ryan Mayer's Running Shoes

I have a friend named Ryan Mayer. He has running shoes. He got them from his mother, and never really did much running before he got them. But every once in a while, now, he does go running in his running shoes, because he has them.

I have a friend named Debra Cox. She has a blog. Her friend set it up for her; she never really blogged before she had one. But every once in a while, now, she does write on her blog, because she has it.

Thank you.

"[F]riendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life ... thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sun."

-- Thomas Jefferson

"I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better."
-- Plutarch

Sometimes we get so caught up in the Good Times of a friendship that we forget our friends are human, and therefore susceptible to human faults. We ignore these little flaws until something happens -- an act of neglect, an injury, a disagreement. And then the flood gates are opened: every little fallibility grows by exponential proportions until the whole is too great for any mortal to bear without guilt. Disapproval turns to personal injury, which turns to resentment and progresses to the ultimate depravity of human relationship: apathy.

How sad that we can throw away such a precious gift so easily! Friendship is a kind of love that should be and can be so much stronger than that if we remember that we are all learning and growing on this earth. I would hate to be judged by my little mistakes and misunderstandings. Friends are there to help us grow, to love us the way we are while pushing us to be better. In the words of Mr. Knightly, "the truest friend does not doubt but hope."

Someone told me just the other day that when a friendship reaches a certain point, you don't have to see your friend's face or hear her voice to know who she is, to know that she loves you. Now, I'm still only twenty-one years old -- my parents have been married far longer than I've been alive -- but even I know that feeling. Do I know everything about my friends? Certainly not! I do know a lot about their personalities, beliefs, standards, behaviors, and yes, even some of their flaws. Sometimes I can predict down to the word how they will respond in a given situation. But I don't know how they developed those things; I don't know half of their potential for becoming even more amazing than they are. What I'm realizing now is that no matter what else I do or do not know, no matter what little mistakes we make in our friendships, I know that I don't have to see their faces, or hear their voices to see, hear, and feel their love. I hope that they feel the same.

Social vindication, self-gratification and the definition of a Nerd.

I don't generally consider myself an anti-social person. In fact, I can become rather depressed and filled with angst when left alone for too long. Neither do I consider myself a shy person, though I can be very quiet and even timid in large groups. But something happened this semester. I became increasingly conscious as the weeks went by that I had not made many new friends at all. In fact, I knew very few people in our ward, and I still don't know even a quarter of the girls in our building. This realization began gnawing at my conscience until, finally, I had to do something about it. I knew that I wouldn't be able to bring myself out in ward activities much more than I had, because they were all too overwhelming, socially. There were too many people, all in little groups having their own conversations and for me there might as well have been a glass wall erected around each cluster. So, with the financial, physical and emotional support of Maddie and Sharlene, I planned a party at our apartment. This way, the size of the group would be limited, naturally, by the size of our apartment and the people that were willing to take time out of their Saturday night to get to know us and have fun. It would also put me in the position of co-hostess, a role which I am much more comfortable with than that of guest or participant. In this capacity, it was my job to make others feel welcome, to introduce myself and others, and to be actively involved in conversation. I loved it! We printed out invitations on Wednesday and taped them on every apartment door in the ward, thinking that we might get ten to fifteen people to show up, if we were lucky. When the night of the party came, we had about twenty people overall. A complete success! Costco supplied ninety percent of our refreshments, which of course meant that they were quite delectable. People were coming and going, but the core group stayed at around eight people, including Maddie and myself (Sharlene had a date ;P). We ate and chattered for a good forty-five minutes to an hour before starting up a wild game of Cranium, which my team very nearly won - I'll get you, Maddie, and your little friends, too (insert evil laugh)! Kiera and I kept up a steady stream of trash talk, which was pretty amusing, considering our individual personalities. We also were able to meet some great people, and have a lot of fun with friends, new, old and in between. Sadly, one of Maddie's Freshman lovers left early to do homework and the other could not make an appearance due to a previous engagement, but don't be too sad ... got a date out of it anyway("A.C.T. worked for me!"). And myself? I just got a silly little crush - lame! There are certain things about being a single young woman at BYU that I could do without. But at least this one is at least a little valid - I've actually held more than two-minutes' conversation with him and interacted with him socially more than once (his FHE group went to the same multi-FHE-group activity this week - I put the moves on. Sort of. You know. It's me.). Blah. All in all, the evening was an overwhelming success and social vindication.

New topic. Today I turned in a short story for my creative writing class. I spent all day yesterday working on said story as I decided on Monday that I did not like the story I had written and had to come up with a better idea. It was an interesting experience. I sat on Karina's papasan chair in the living room with snacks at my side and my computer on my lap and typed for eight hours, with a few brief intermissions for bathroom breaks and phone calls to my mom. At the end of the day, I had fallen in love with a completely alien story. It didn't really feel like I had written it, but I had. There were still some kinks that needed to be straightened out (ironed, if you will), but it was good. When I arrived in class and we all arranged our desks into a large circle, I had the feeling that I would be asked to read for the class workshop session. It didn't bother me until it happened. I was the first to be asked. At that moment I was seized with the fear of failure. I was sure he was going to stop me after every sentence and tell me how I needed to change it and it terrified me. This was my baby! I started reading and I felt my face glow red hot. My heart was beating faster than I could count and hard enough to escape my rib cage completely. I couldn't breathe correctly and I had to clear my throat and wet my lips. I'm being a bit melodramatic, but it was an intense feeling. Only, he didn't stop me after every sentence, or even after every paragraph. I went on to the second or third page before he stopped me with a question about a particular sentence structure that turned out to be correct. Then he started asking me why I set it in England and what was going to happen in the end and everyone wanted to hear what happened next. He liked it! They liked it! I had a girl come up to me after class and ask to read the rest of it, saying that she had really enjoyed it. Ha! Can you believe it?! I was so excited, I couldn't stand it! I know it sounds ridiculously self-gratifying (hence the title), but it was great!

Last one. I don't know if you've noticed (see above paragraph), but I am a complete English nerd. I love it! I love the boundless possibilities presented by the knowledge that the more you understand about the rules, the more masterfully you can use them or break them in half and throw them into the sea. I love the myriad of successful and not-so-successful authors, past and present, who have demonstrated those possibilities. It's a beautiful world, the world of literature and literary history and creative writing - *sigh*. I say, I am an English nerd. This is very important because I am not an English geek. There is a very big difference. A nerd is one who is passionate about their subject of learning, or about learning in general, who can often be socially awkward or clumsy, but who is always aware of social contexts and decorum and therefore remains socially adept and acceptable. That's me. A geek is one whose passion for learning often turns into an obsession; they often have a great cerebral capacity to store information and like to share random facts, often completely out of context. Geeks generally seem to be in their own little world, and have little understanding or respect for social boundaries. I explained the first half of this theory, the definition of a Nerd, to my brother the other day. His reaction and the fact that I have not only spent the time and effort to come up with this but also blogged about it culminate in the establishment of the fact that I am a self-proclaimed nerd. Thank you, one and all.

On Halloween Night Things go Bump in the Night

I began my celebration of this All Hallows Eve as Rosie the Riveter, due to the fact that I had a costume more readily available and less care-intensive than Marylin Monroe(but don't you worry, Marylin came out later ;*). At the ward dance party, we were among the first to arrive (as usual) and it was awkward (big surprise), and the music was pretty lame, but it was still fun. We won the prize for best chili, which wasn't as great of a compliment because we were the only ones who brought chili aside from the activity committee members. Sharlene won the prize for best costume; we hunted through DI until we found an ugly, purple dress that I'm sure once belonged to a 12-year-old beehive, cut the top layer of material off of the skirt, pinned it up to knee-length before drawing, cutting out, and stapling pictures of stars, moons, sun, saturn, and of course the Magic School Bus, together with her curly hair tied up in a crazy do to create the fabulous Ms. Frizzle. It was amazing! Maddie also looked amazing (as usual)in her cave girl outfit, complete with a messy side pony tail and heavy brown eye make-up. We had a blast together!

Also, I would be remiss if I didn't bring to your attention that alias Andrew Bingley, mentioned in a previous post, did in fact accept the invitation to join us at the party and again to accompany us to our apartment to watch a movie. ;P Oh, the fates!